GC79: Compassionate Compromise

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Christ, compromise, Episcopal Church, General Convention, LGBTQ, marriage rites, protest, theology, traditional, witness

Photo Credit:  Jennifer Andrews-Weckerly (reuse with permission)

As an alternate to General Convention, I stood ready to fill in when deputies needed a break from the floor.  On the two sessions where I was able to serve as a Deputy, I was able to participate in the debate, revision, and voting on B012, entitled Marriage Rites for the Whole Church.  This resolution came to be because although we authorized marriage rites for same sex couples at the 78^th General Convention, there was a provision that allowed bishops who hold a theological position that does not embrace marriage for same-sex couples to forbid his or her priests from conducting such rites.  This left the LGBTQ community in those dioceses unable to be married in their home parishes by their home priests, despite a change in the legal ability to do so.  This was deemed a compromise that could keep everyone at the table despite our theological differences.

However, given the protests of the LGBTQ community and their supporters, B012 proposed an option for priests and their parishes who wanted to conduct marriages for all despite their bishop’s protest to seek the oversight of another bishop in the Episcopal Church.  The resolution allowed for bishops and protesting churches and clergy to hold their ground, while also allowing dissenting clergy and parishes to minister to their community fully.  I talked about the testimonies and debate about this issue earlier.  The resolution was heavily edited as a result of that that testimony, and what came before the House of Deputies seemed like a well-crafted compromise.  But the debate on the floor indicated something quite different.  Our more traditional brothers and sisters felt their theology was being compromised, and many diocese in Province IX, including churches in foreign countries where same-sex marriage is still illegal, were threatening to break from the church.  It was a heart-wrenching debate, and our own deputation was even divided on what to do.

When the vote finally came, we voted by orders – so that the entire house could see how the lay and ordained voted.  As the minutes ticked by, my stomach turned.  I honestly did not know what would be the best outcome, and I feared for our path forward.  When the votes came in, they were overwhelmingly in favor of B012.  I am not sure what changed people’s minds, and I am not sure how people came to see that this was a good compromise.  My only reflection was that everyone was a bit unhappy, not fully getting what they wanted – which is the definition of a good compromise, if you ask me.

I do not know if the passage of B012 will have any negative impact in the future.  What I do know is that the process seemed to model something we have a hard time doing in the United States – compromise.  I have always said that if the Episcopal Church cannot model compromise, respect, and dignity, we cannot expect the world outside to do so.  The passage of B012 in both Houses made me feel like there might be hope for all of us to witness compassionate compromise through Christ to others.

On Learning Love…

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care, church, community, hatred, Jesus, learning, LGBTQ, love, love is love, pride, witness

This past weekend, our family was invited to meet up in DC with some friends from California.  They were attending the pride parade that afternoon, so we decided to meet them for a late lunch and then join them for as much of the parade as our little ones could handle.  We did not tell the children much about the visit – just that we would have lunch with friends and watch a parade.  Our oldest had already been a part of a pride parade with my husband’s work last year.  But everything would be new for our youngest.  It would also be my first pride parade.

What struck me about DC that day was the prevalence of invitations to love.  That may sound simple, obvious, or overused.  Perhaps we have become desensitized now that “Love is love,” has become a motto of sorts.  But as I watched all those gathered that day, I was overwhelmed by the outpouring of love.  This is a community which has every reason to embrace defensiveness, anger, and a sense of righteous indignation.  The LGBTQ community has been the victim of judgment, oppression, prejudice, violence, anger, ostracization, and emotional abuse.  They have been the victims of laws that limited their ability to not only be in relationship, but even to be in committed, monogamous, legal marriages.  They have been denied jobs, housing, adoptive rights, and patient rights.  They have every reason to be a community that reflects the hatred they have experienced.

And yet, I felt nothing but love that day.  I felt nothing but a celebration of love, care, and community.  And I cannot tell you how powerful it is to have your children surrounded by strangers who exude that kind of love.  My heart was warmed and I felt humbled by the community’s ability to show love in the face of hate.  As a person of faith, and as a pastor, I was hoping to see the church out, making the LGBTQ community feel welcome.  But after our day together, I wondered if the movement perhaps needed to be in reverse.  Perhaps the Church needs to be inviting the LGBTQ community in to teach us more about the love Christ talks about.  The love I felt that day was nothing short of the kind of love Jesus teaches throughout his ministry.  I was grateful for the wonderful witness of the LGBTQ community.  I just hope the Church can catch up and follow their example.