For those of you who know me well, you know that I am not the friend you want nearby in case of an emergency. I’m not the quickest thinker on my feet. I could tell you of countless stories involving blood and fire at construction sites to prove my point. Knowing that weakness, I tend to compensate through preparation. I will plan, think through various contingencies, and consult experts to make sure that if an emergency comes up, I do not have to think on my feet as much – I’ve already figured out various scenarios.
So for a consummate planner and preparer, you can imagine how this move has put me over the edge. I, perhaps crazily, decided that my last Sunday at my current parish would be Easter Sunday. The movers would come later in the week, and then we would head out by week’s end. I had a plan. But then I forgot how busy Lent and Holy Week are. I forgot how challenging dealing with children who are on break can be. I forgot how many logistics would be necessary for buying a new home, starting new schools, and starting a new job. I forgot how much time I would need to commit to spending time pastorally with the parishioners who had been in my care for the last four-plus years. Consequently, when the packers arrived today, I was nowhere near as prepared for them as I had planned.
Now that may not sound like a big deal, but as someone who is a crazy planner and as someone who has moved more times than I can count, this a grave disappointment. By Wednesday night I was in a panic about how little was done. I was aghast at my lack of preparation. All that purging, all that organizing, all those donations, all that cleaning I had planned went mostly undone. For someone like me, this is the ultimate anxiety-inducing experience.
So this morning, as I sit with packers in a flurry around me, I am working on breathing. I am working on accepting I have done what I can do. Despite my inner criticism, I am working on listening to the reassuring voice of God telling me, “Well done, good and faithful servant.” Instead of concentrating on the list of incomplete things, I am reflecting on all the good and wonderful things of these last weeks: heartfelt goodbyes, beautiful liturgies, yummy food, laughter and tears, and hugs and kisses. I am recalling all the blessings of these years with St. Margaret’s and the community of Plainview. And I am overwhelmed with gratitude for the ways that God has been with me in the midst of it all. I am gloriously unprepared today – but that lack of preparation has opened a window for the goodness of God to take over. Thanks be to God!!