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On Church, Community, and Crying…

01 Wednesday Apr 2020

Posted by jandrewsweckerly in Uncategorized

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care, children, church, close, community, Coronavirus, crying, identity, love, parade, purpose, school, tears, village

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Photo credit:  Jennifer Andrews-Weckerly; use with permission only.

I had seen the pictures and videos in my news feed of teachers and schools “parading” in neighborhoods, saying hello to their students from their cars (keeping safe social distances).  The idea seemed nice enough, but I did not really think too much about the concept.  But when my children found out their elementary school would be doing the same, they jumped right in, making signs for their teachers.  We rearranged our daily schedule, and headed up to the now-unused bus stop in our neighborhood, and waited.

But it was not until I saw familiar face after familiar face – the principal, my fifth grader’s first, third, and current grade teachers; the art, computer, music, orchestra, librarian, and gym teachers; even the custodian – that I lost it.  Tears burst into my eyes, and although I could not stop smiling, I also could not stop crying.  The previous week, we had found out that due to the Coronavirus, our schools would be out for the remainder of the school year.  My fifth grader would not get to say goodbye to friends and one of the best teachers she has ever had, nor the community that has shaped her for the last four years.  My kindergartner would get no closure on her first year of school.  But here was that amazing community, coming to our neighborhood to say goodbye.

I think I burst into tears because I realized how very deeply important community is in our lives.  For the schools, our children are there five days a week, nine months of the year.  The school is a major part of the village that raises our children, teaches them, forms them into amazing citizens, and helps them find their sense of identity and purpose.  The staff and teachers at our school love our children and are a part of our family.  What this virus did was expose a huge part of our children’s lives and take it away from them.  The tears I could not stop that day were tears of gratitude, tears of blessing, tears of humility for the community I had not fully appreciated until that moment.

That is what has been so hard about having our church closed too.  We are making inroads for connection, surely.  But part of the reason we are doing that is because we know that Church is a vital community in our lives too.  Certainly, we are there because of our faith – or our desire to have faith.  But we are also at Church because the community feeds us, sustains us, and gives our lives a sense of purpose and identity.  When we cannot gather, we lose a huge part of our lives.  This week, it is my prayer that for those of you missing your church community, you will take advantage of the ways we are trying to maintain virtual connection during this time of disconnection.  We may not be able to exchange signs of the peace, offer hugs or high fives of affirmation, or kneel at the altar together.  But we can laugh at Virtual Coffee Hour, sing during livestream worship, and even cry during daily pop-up prayers.  Your community is still here, loving you and supporting you.  And we cannot wait to see you again!!

Homily – Mt. 11.25-30, St. Francis Feast, YB, October 21, 2018

24 Wednesday Oct 2018

Posted by jandrewsweckerly in Sermons, Uncategorized

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blessing, easy, healing, homily, hurt, Jesus Christ, light, love, pets, reconciliation, relationship, rest, sabbath, Sermon, St. Francis, village, wolf, yoke

FrancisOfAssisi

Photo credit:  http://thewildreed.blogspot.com/2007/10/st-francis-of-assisi-dancer-rebel.html

Today we honor the life of St. Francis of Assisi.  Francis is one of the most popular and admired saints of all time.  Most of us know the highlights of his story: born the son of a wealthy man in 1182; had a conversion experience and devoted his life to Lady Poverty; shaped monastic and lay devotion; was a friend to all God’s creatures – being known to have preached to the birds.  But the story I like most is the story about St. Francis and the Wolf.

According to legend, there was a wolf that was terrorizing a nearby town, killing and eating animals and people.  The villagers tried to fight back, but they too died at the jaws of the wolf.  Francis had pity on the people and went out to meet the wolf.  When Francis found the wolf, he made the sign of the cross, and said, “Come to me, Brother Wolf.  In the name of Christ, I order you not to hurt anyone.”  The wolf calmly laid down at Francis’ feet.  Francis then went on to explain to the wolf how the wolf was terrorizing the people and other animals – all who were made in the image of God.  The wolf and Francis then made a pact that the wolf would no longer harm the town and the town would no longer try to hurt the wolf.  The two traveled into town to explain the pact they had formed.  The people were amazed as Francis and the wolf walked side-by-side into town.  Francis made the people pledge to feed the wolf and the wolf pledge not to harm anyone else.  From that day on, the wolf went door to door for food.  The wolf hurt no one and no one hurt the wolf; even the dogs did not bark at the wolf.[i]

What I love about this story of St. Francis is that the story is about reconciliation and relationship.  At the beginning of the story the town and the wolf are at an impasse – the wolf is hungry and getting attacked; the people are afraid and are lashing out.  What Francis does for both parties is shock them out of the comfortable.  For the wolf, no one has addressed the wolf kindly – they have either shut the wolf out or actively tried to kill the wolf.  For the people, the wolf has not asked for help – he has simply and violently taken what he needed and wanted.  Francis manages to shock the wolf first – not through violence or force, but with the power of love and blessing.  By giving a blessing in the name of God, Francis is then able to implore the wolf to reciprocate with love.  Francis also manages to shock the village – not with a violent victory, but with a humble display of forgiveness and trust.  By walking into town with a tamed wolf at his side, Francis is able to encourage the town to embrace, forgive, and care for the wolf.  Francis’ actions remind both parties that unless their relationships are reconciled, unrest and division will be the norm.

The funny thing about this story is that the story is pretty ridiculous.  I mean, how many of us go around talking to wild animals, blessing them with the sign of the cross, expecting anything other than being attacked?  We will never really know whether the story is true.  But like any good Biblical story, or even any good midrash, whether the story is true is hardly the point: the point is that the stories point toward “Truth” with a capital “T.”  What this story teaches is that peace and reconciliation only happen through meeting others where they are.  We cannot expect great change unless we are willing to get down in the trenches – to go out and meet that destructive wolf face-to-face.  The other thing this story teaches is relationships are at the heart of reconciliation.  Only when the wolf and the town began to get to know each other and began to form a relationship with one another could they move forward.

This is the way life is under Jesus Christ.  In our gospel lesson today, Jesus says, “Come to me, all you that are weary and are carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me; for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”  Jesus’ words have layered meaning.  The first meaning we all catch is that Jesus offers us rest and refreshment.  Jesus encourages us to come to him, to cast our burdens and cares upon him, and to take rest, to take Sabbath in Christ.  Our souls will find peace in Christ Jesus.  The second meaning is that peace in Christ Jesus is not without work.  Jesus does not say come unto me and relax forever in happy retirement.  Jesus says we will still have to take on a yoke – the burden of disciple living.  But luckily, that burden of being Christ’s disciple will not be burdensome – it will be light.  Finally, not only will Jesus make the workload “light,” as in not heavy:  Jesus will also make us “light” – as in lights that shine into the darkness and refuse to allow the shadow to overwhelm[ii]; as in lights that shine on this very Holy Hill where Hickory Neck rests.  We become the light when we work for reconciliation in our relationships with others.

That is why we do so many special things today.  Today, we ask for prayers and then exchange signs of peace – that God might help us reconcile the relationships in our life that need healing.  Today, at our 9:00 am service, we ask for blessing on our animals – that God might help our relationship with our pet be one of blessing and light.  Today, we come to Jesus for Sabbath rest – that God might renew us on this Sabbath day, use the rest to fill us with light, and renew our commitment to be agents of reconciliation, gladly putting on Christ’s yoke.  Amen.

[i] John Feister, “Stories about St. Francis and the Animals,” October 4,2005, as found at https://faith32.livejournal.com/61897.html on October 18, 2018.

[ii] Mel Williams, “Let it go…and rest” Faith and Leadership, July 6, 2014 as found at http://www.faithandleadership.com/sermons/mel-williams-let-it-go%E2%80%A6and-rest  on October 18, 2018.

Sermon – Luke 2.41-52, C2, YC, January 3, 2016

06 Wednesday Jan 2016

Posted by jandrewsweckerly in Uncategorized

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childhood, Christ, Christmas, family, impetuous, independence, Jesus, Joseph, Mary, parenting, self-sufficiency, Sermon, struggle, surprise, teenager, transition, village, wise

I learned pretty early on to adopt the model of a village partnering with me to raise my children.  We have never lived close enough to parents or siblings who could take our children for the afternoon or in an emergency.  Instead, we learned to lean on babysitters, friends, and parishioners.  And because both my husband and I found fulfillment working, we relied on teachers and daycare workers to support us during working hours.  Though we are our children’s parents, there is an entire village who is helping us to raise our children.

Though not all parents subscribe to that model of parenting, that is certainly the model in Jesus’ day.  Families stick together – but “family” has a much broader definition.  Your extended family and your family’s friends are your village – so you have a lot of moms, pops, grandmas, and aunties watching over you.  That village is the reason Mary and Joseph can travel for a day’s journey without noticing their missing twelve-year old.[i]  In the village, much like at Coffee Hour or a Pancake Breakfast at St. Margaret’s, the watching of children happens in community.  Mary and Joseph have no worry about Jesus because they know that the other moms, pops, grandmas, and aunties will keep him in line and safe.  And Jesus knows his role too – to follow instructions and to stay with the village.

Much like we should not be surprised that Mary and Joseph do not notice missing Jesus for a full day, we should also not be surprised that they are angry with Jesus when they find him.  They have journeyed a full day out of Jerusalem, rushed the day-long journey back to Jerusalem, and have scoured the City for three more days to find their missing child.  When they finally find Jesus, Mary lets Jesus have it.  “Child, why have you treated us like this?!?” she scolds.  But as exasperated as Mary and Joseph must be, I imagine they are furious with Jesus’ response.  I can hear the preteen annoyance and flippancy in Jesus’ words[ii], “Did you not know that I must be in my Father’s house?”  I am sure Luke edited out Mary’s response, “Excuse me?!?  Who do you think you are to talk to me like that?!?”

The interaction between Mary, Joseph, and Jesus is the story of every family experiencing the transition from childhood into adolescence.  I am convinced that the commandment to honor one’s father and mother is rooted in the adolescent-prescribed struggle between family and independence.  In fact, that transition from preteen to teenage years is probably the most difficult of parent-child transitions.  This is the time when parents transition out of being the primary teachers and forces of influence on their child’s life.  Meanwhile, peers transition into being the primary teachers and forces of influence in a child’s life.  That time is a liminal time when the child is no longer solely dependent upon the parent but also is not yet totally independent.  So although the child may want to shed his or her old way of life, he or she is not fully prepared to live parent-free.  The child struggles, but so do the parents.  I remember one of the pieces of advice I received early on as a parent.  The seasoned parent told me that my number one goal was to help my child become self-sufficient.  But the parent warned me:  the preparation was the easy part – the teaching, the modeling, the cheering on of each successive milestone.  The hard part is when self-sufficiency is actually attained.  Feeling no longer needed or an active part in the child’s life can leave a parent feeling bereft or abandoned – whether that happens at twelve or twenty-one or forty.

That is where Mary and Joseph struggle today.  They have been preparing Jesus his whole childhood to be self-sufficient.  They have cared for him, protected him, and taught him.  But they have yet to let go of Jesus.  They are surprised by Jesus’ defensive response – partially because Jesus’ response is a bit rude, but partially because they have boxed Jesus into a role.  Jesus is their child who is to follow their rules.  Not only have Mary and Joseph forgotten that Jesus is growing up, they have also forgotten that Jesus is the son of God, the Messiah for God’s people.[iii]  What is probably the most annoying about Jesus’ response to his parents is that Jesus’ response is also partially true.  No one likes to be reprimanded by their twelve-year old.

What the encounter today between Jesus and his parents reminds us of is that we too can put Jesus in a box.  With a lifetime of hearing and learning about Jesus, we feel like we have a pretty strong grasp of who Jesus is and what Jesus is about.  But the danger in that kind of comfort with Jesus is that we put Jesus in a category as a known, unchangeable entity.  But if we remember, Jesus was not particularly known for doing the predictable.  Jesus was always surprising those closest to him.  He would even sometimes say one thing and do another.  Clearly Jesus’ parents thought they had him figured out.  The disciples fell into the same practice too.  They were constantly suggesting a plan of action they thought was in line with Jesus’ way of doing things, only to be shut down by Jesus himself.

We fall into the same trap.  Being followers of Christ, we sometimes think we can speak for Christ.  I have heard people argue that Jesus would have been a democrat or a republican – an argument that clearly is setup to satisfy a need for self-affirmation.  Our question, “What would Jesus do?” is also a dangerous one, as the question tempts us to put words into Jesus mouth that have never been there.  The conundrum is easy enough to see – how can we make a two-thousand-year-old Middle Eastern Jesus relevant to a twenty-first century American?  Truthfully, as a preacher, I am the most at risk because my whole job is to make Jesus relevant to our lives.

A couple of years ago, I stumbled on a quote from Steve Maraboli.  He said, “Want to keep Christ in Christmas?  Feed the hungry, clothe the naked, forgive the guilty, welcome the unwanted, care for the ill, love your enemies, and do unto others as you would have done unto you.”[iv]  In many ways, we have all we need to know about Jesus.  He taught and showed us how to live.  Our questions about what Jesus would do or what party affiliation he would have are distractions.  We know how he lived his life.  We also know that he was constantly surprising those around him.  Our antidote to falling into the same trap of keeping Jesus in a box is to live the life he called us to live, but also to always expect to be surprised.  I imagine when we feed the hungry, clothe the naked, forgive the guilty, welcome the unwanted, care for the ill, love our enemies, and do unto others as we would have done unto us, we will find that Jesus shows up in all sorts of surprising ways.  And like Mary and Joseph, we may find sharp, annoyed responses from Jesus to our questions.  His response is the same to us today, “Why were you searching for me?  Did you not know that I must be in my Father’s house?”  Did you not know that I would be with the hungry, the guilty, the unwanted, the ill, and the enemy?   Jesus sounds like an impetuous teenager at times.  But he also sounds like a wise a teenager at times.  Amen.

[i] Barbara Brown Taylor, “Homiletical Perspective,” Feasting on the Word, Yr. C, vol. 1 (Louisville:  Westminster John Knox Press, 2009), 167.

[ii] William J. Danaher, Jr. “Theological Perspective,” Feasting on the Word, Yr. C, vol. 1 (Louisville:  Westminster John Knox Press, 2009), 164.

[iii] Danaher, 164.

[iv] Steve Maraboli, Unapologetically You: Reflections on Life and the Human Experience.  Quote found at http://www.goodreads.com/quotes/476284-want-to-keep-christ-in-christmas-feed-the-hungry-clothe on January 2, 2016.

The Vulnerable Village…

05 Friday Sep 2014

Posted by jandrewsweckerly in Uncategorized

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Tags

children, community, God, kindergarten, prayer, scary, trust, village, vulnerable

Today is the big day.  Our oldest child’s first day of kindergarten.  As background, we are used to our child being in the care of others.  Since she was eighteen months, she has been doing four days a week of full-day care.  Though that was hard at first, we quickly saw how she thrives on the routine and the stimulation.  And we have also embraced the idea of our child being raised by a village.  In fact, our second child started a similar schedule at eleven weeks.  So we are no strangers to the hand-off experience.

Courtesy of http://www.dot.gov/fastlane/school-bus-safety-be-prepared-not-scared

Courtesy of http://www.dot.gov/fastlane/school-bus-safety-be-prepared-not-scared

But I must admit that today was quite different.  Our kindergarten program asked the parents not to deviate from how drop-off will normally occur.  So instead of passing her off at the school itself, our daughter boarded a bus that then drove away.  In fact, the whole transaction took all of a minute or so.  As the bus turned the corner, driving out of sight, I was left standing there with a pit in my stomach.  As I have thought about it since she went to school, I realized that what my daughter did today – stepping on to a bus with people she has never met, going to a school she has never attended, meeting a new teacher she has never met, and experiencing a totally new routine – takes a tremendous amount of courage.  And yet she boldly stepped onto that bus, with a big grin on her face.

Though I have often talked about the village that raises our children, and in some ways have had to embrace that model out of necessity, I rarely admit how wonderful and also scary that whole concept is.  The truth is that I have to trust many people with shaping and forming my child into an amazing person.  Though my husband and I do a lot of that formation, her formation comes from teachers, school staff, church parishioners, friends, and family.  I have seen in person how helpful that can be (like that time when we were arduously trying to teach her to use a spoon – a habit she picked up in minutes once she saw the other kids doing it at school).  But today, I was aware of how vulnerable relying on the village makes one feel.  There is really no getting around that sense of vulnerability – it is a necessary part of life.  But that vulnerability can certainly be unsettling.

This morning, as I have been sorting through that unsettled feeling, the only thing I have been able to “do” is to give that feeling back to God through prayer.  God knows how much I dislike that feeling of being out of control, and so I am sure my prayer is familiar to God.  But I have also found myself praying my daughter through her day – the other kids on the bus she met, the staff who walked her to her classroom, her teacher and new classmates, the staff who works in the cafeteria, her time learning and at play, and her time in after-care.  I pray that the village will be good to her, that she will feel God’s loving arms surrounding her, and that she too will be God’s light to others.  That is my small contribution to the village today – my prayers and my trust.  God bless our village and give us peace.

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